Sometimes we have to let our inner monster become active suddenly and react. We must be a true warrior. I never learnt to say NO; in fact NO never existed in my life. Yes sir… yes ma’am… yes dude… why not man… … sure girl… I was always there unless one day I realized when I needed people 99% people were either not available at all or majority of them had one or the other excuses. What the hell? Am I fool!
Yes, I made a fool of myself indeed. I never let my voice out; I never put my choices in front of others. If I didn’t want to handle a task, I still did just to be in good books. If teacher scolded me, I accepted my mistake humbly without justifying myself even if I was not the one to be blamed completely. My motivation in life was lost after few years. I felt I was available for others but when I genuinely wanted people around me I was alone.
I have 2013 Facebook friends, I like their posts, react and comment, and they return the favor humbly. I have 895 followers on twitters and nearly 499 on IG. We interact because it is simply a give & take relationship; A VIRTUAL RELATIONSHIP.
One day I decided to do a trial. I liked and commented only those posts which I genuinely felt, people reacted the same way. If I reacted on every post, I get the same reaction. If I called people and plan party at my place, I hardly was invited to any party.
Why shall I expect the same reaction… tell me? Who wants to shell out money like I do???
My boss feels I am highly competitive so she wants me to head the Sales Department, which isn’t possible … I mean c’mon man I have a family, I have no social circle, my motherhood and my workplace doesn’t leaves any time for me to breathe even the fresh air. No, hubby isn’t to be blamed, he has his own work commitments and his job demands travelling regularly. Sometimes, I laugh at him… do you just come home for the laundry and leave the next day.
I do have a full-timer maid… wait, isn’t she a human!!! I can’t exploit her, she’s good at managing many things and hares a lot of my workload. Without her I wouldn’t have even survived… God!
Enough now… The moment I started to realize my existence in life, I allowed my vocal chords to not commit to anything I am not willing at… I might have… not might, I actually did upset many people around me but I felt I have a life of my own. I could spend some quality time with my family, my social media accounts had real friends… just a very few of them… actually I am happy with my shrunk world now.
I was finally rejected from heading the Sales Department; I didn’t want this opportunity to slip but it demanded overly working schedule and early morning meetings, which wasn’t even possible for me. I am not sad at all.
If the house owner wanted me to go and pay the bills myself which wasn’t my responsibility, I insisted on changing the apartment. The owner learnt to compromise.
My motivation started to come back.
I felt I am there. I now had time to sip in a cup of bed tea and relax for few minutes in the morning.
What happens to my boss, my colleagues, my landlord, my friends…? I SIMPLY DON’T CARE ANYMORE.
I now have a life of mine. I can feel that inner smile on my both kids face. My hubby and I go out to dine sometimes… though not quite often.
Sometimes your inner monster does a lot of good to you… let it come out and you will feel good. TRUST ME!
Hey, it’s Sunday evening and am sipping my cup of coffee while writing down.
How about your weekends and Monday motivation?